How to gather your courage
by ShipMistress
Summary: A one-shot, set between 'Twintuition' and 'Blindsided'. My personal headcanon about how and why Hiccup suddenly is able to bring up the courage to try and kiss Astrid in 'Blindsided'


**A/N: My first shot at a one-shot/drabble/whatever-this-is ever.  
It's about what I think might have happened inside Hiccup's head after 'Twintuition' and what led to the events of 'Blindsided' thereafter. I hope you'll enjoy. :)  
**

* * *

 **How to gather your courage**

Hiccup stood at the top of his favorite cliff and stared down at his hand. The hand that had caught her…

He still could hardly process this. He'd been successful. Finally, this one error, this one mistake he had made so long ago was set aright.

He'd made so many mistakes… He'd failed on so many fronts, he could hardly remember them all. Some, he'd already corrected while others still needed his attention. But this…

His hand started to shake and he balled it into a fist. It wasn't weak. He wasn't weak! He had caught her, had reached her in time and had held on to her, had brought her down to the ground safely. He had made amends for his failure all these months ago.

These memories had haunted him for so long now. In one moment, Astrid had sat behind him, holding on to him. Then Toothless had moved so fast to evade that rock and in the next moment, Astrid had been gone. When he closed his eyes, he could still see her falling, plummeting down toward the ocean below them. If only… If only there would have been just the ocean. He could have picked her up so easily then. But no, Ryker had been there, had caught her before he had been able to reach her. He hadn't been fast enough. He'd failed her…

Among all the mistakes he'd made lately, this was the one he regretted the most. Of course, losing Berk's gold had been bad. Letting his father down, again, and putting the whole Hooligan tribe into jeopardy, it was inexcusable. And yet, this hadn't bothered him as much as failing to reach Astrid in time. And then, he'd gotten the gold back by now anyway.

The fact, that Viggo still had the Dragon Eye… That was another topic altogether. For a very long time now, he'd thought this was what kept him away from her, his duty to set this right. And it was true, he still needed to do something about this situation. But he didn't feel bound to put all his energy and time in that, not anymore.

Because this time he'd reached her in time.

He closed his eyes and the memory of her falling and getting caught by that chain was replaced by another one. It was replaced by the memory of hands clasping around wrists, of the tugging in his shoulder when he'd suddenly carried her weight as well, of the desperate need to just hold on to her and of her grateful smile thereafter. That smile…

For so so many years now, her smile was what kept him going in the darkest of times. He'd seen it only from afar for such a long time, had watched her from the distance. Admittedly, she hadn't smiled much back then, though when she did, it had been amazing. Like when he'd returned her ax to her home after sharpening it. And then, everything had changed because of Toothless and the other dragons. She'd smiled so much more then. Her smile had changed over time, though, and retrospectively, he couldn't say when it had happened exactly. At some point, she hadn't just smiled anymore, she'd started to smile _at him_! When she'd decided to stay at Berk and train a new group of riders he'd thought he'd lost his chance for a while but she'd returned. She'd returned and he had begun to hope.

And then, before he'd had the chance to act on that hope, he'd failed her…

Many things had happened since then, many things that now made him hope she might feel the same for him as he felt for her. The guilt over his failure had kept him from doing anything, though. Even after his lapse when he'd feared for her life because of the Scourge of Odin, he'd kept his distance. Because no matter what, he'd failed her. If he couldn't protect her, he wasn't worthy of her either

But now…

He stared at his hand again. Now, he'd made it up to her. This time, he'd been fast enough.

And this time, nothing would keep him from doing what he'd wanted to do for such a long time. Now, all he needed was the perfect moment…

* * *

 **I hope you liked it.**

 **And even though the story isn't new, I still read and appreciate every comment! ;)**


End file.
